Marriage is a sacred institution that is established by two people by uniting their aims and personalities.
Discomforts and problems that may come about in the future do not find their places in the minds yet in the beginning. Maybe the irresolvable problems of the future stem from this unpreparedness.
Sometimes problems may be recognized during the stages of friendship or engagement, but they are usually overlooked by both sides.
Actually problems may give signs before marriage and manifest themselves in behavior or words. How are your lover’s or fiancé’s behavior and responses to you when your likes differ, when you make a mistake or when she/he is expressing her/his wishes to you?
To guess or sense the possible problems that may occur in the future can be hard or impossible. However, the important thing is to catch some signs and to be able to share your feeling and thoughts with each other.
Certain important issues about marriage are listed below:
In every inch of marriage, first of all we encounter “respect”. “Love and respect” phrase is very frequently used. However, respect is a very fundamental agent and an attitude such as, “there is already love, respect will come with it anyway” may not hold true.
A quarrel that happens between you is the most dangerous exam that may harm respect and one of the worst enemies of respect itself. After a momentary rage, the respect you have for him/her prevents an action that may hurt you and her/him. A mean word told or a disrespectful act done may leave irreparable damages in marriage.
“Patience” has a magical effect in marriage. Are you able to use it? To have patience is not to delay the problems you see without solving them or to keep them in yourselves.
For example, patience can be worked before an inappropriate response to a problem occurs, in order to stop it, or to create the time to observe the problems and think of solutions. However, to say that “I was patient for a long time, always kept it inside”, does not pertain to the correct usage of patience.
In the early stages of the marriage, observing the negativities at the other married couples around and saying “this would not happen to us, we would not make the same mistakes”, and general thoughts as “this would not happen to us” are very common. However, the real case might be very different and mistakes can be done in every marriage. Therefore, to look at events from a realist point of view would be the most suitable behavior.
In marriage another important point is your personal care. Everything about your hair, body, smell, clothes is important in marriage. Taking care of yourself does not mean to be fancy and to wear the best and most garish clothes. The important thing is to be clean and neat and to be able to make your spouse feel that you are preparing yourself for him as much as you are doing it for yourself.
Not to carry on your personal care after marriage, the way you did before marriage, may cause your spouse to do same in this issue too. The attraction, love and sexuality that exist between you, may be negatively affected from this.
For our marriage, sexuality and family therapies and consultancies that are supported by specialist psychologists, you may call our clinic’s number +90 (532) 452 06 56 in Ankara and ask for an appointment from our psychologists…